I am still waiting for my prince charming. He can look like a frog as long as he is charming and can make me laugh. It’s true, after a while, looks fail to impress me. I met this really hot guy recently and he was very, very attractive. Attractive is a strange way to describe a boy, isn’t it? An attractive man sounds as absurd as a handsome woman. I would hate to be called a handsome woman. Anyway, so this guy was like 6’3” and the darkest eyes (I don’t meant scary dark) I had ever seen and they were framed by long, thick, eyelashes much thicker than my heavily mascarad ones. But he was far from charming. He kept saying, “ I am a good cook. I make killer breakfast. You should spend the night with me so you can taste my fried eggs.” He said this like three times. It wasn’t even a cute pick up line.
So after a few drinks, the guy just became uglier and uglier. I guess beer goggles have an opposite affect if the guy is good looking. And after a few more brutal attempts he gave up and staggered up to his new victim, a blonde with a huge ass and small boobs in a white dress with no bra. I liked her shoes, they were white and gold and the heel was at least 5 inches high.
So after staring at dark eyes whisper drunken sweet nothings into the ear of the girl with the pretty shoes, I walked away only to bump into my frog. Boy, was he ugly. He had big, yellow teeth and his skin looked old and blotchy. I knew he wasn’t old because his hands gave him away and his eyes were bright. He apologized to me in a heavy Brit accent and offered to buy me a drink because he had caused me to spill some of mine. Wow! He was charming. I ended up spending the entire evening with him.
My frog’s dress sense was impeccable and he smelled divine. I could close my eyes and make sweet love to him all night long. “ ……….and the men are so fit!( the British version of hot)” That brought me back to reality. He was gay. How could I have been so stupid? No straight man smell like fresh laundry, cologne and some fruity, lemony something. So I kissed my frog goodbye(and no he didn’t turn into my prince) and walked home, all by myself.
So I am still waiting for my frog but in the mean time, I can make do with all the Jackasses I meet along the way.